[Crow watches from a nearby roof -- he was out exploring the city when he caught the sound of his own voice and hopped over to what was up.
--oh, the Raksha. Telling the Walker the news about Rain skipping town with an old friend had not been fun, even if the Walker had probably already known.
the next one is...weird, for him to watch. it's just weird, watching Kestrel die; it's not really satisfying, the way watching Rain eat shit would be, and it's not really sad, because obviously Kestrel didn't really die and his connection to those old memories is muffled at the best of times. it's just. weird.]
Man, you never did tell me how you fucking died. You got the personal touch, huh?
Maybe I've just been thinking a bit lately about what—well, about what "fine" and "happy" are actually supposed to be. People asked me about that kind of thing a lot, here, and I didn't have a real answer.
Right? Or—well, I still only feel like there's a difference to me sometimes.
I think a lot of people would think that was a thing I lost, when I accepted the Neverborn, but I don't think it was a thing I ever learned in the first place. But, ah...
...I don't feel like I'm suffocating anymore. Maybe that's it.
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--oh, the Raksha. Telling the Walker the news about Rain skipping town with an old friend had not been fun, even if the Walker had probably already known.
the next one is...weird, for him to watch. it's just weird, watching Kestrel die; it's not really satisfying, the way watching Rain eat shit would be, and it's not really sad, because obviously Kestrel didn't really die and his connection to those old memories is muffled at the best of times. it's just. weird.]
Man, you never did tell me how you fucking died. You got the personal touch, huh?
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[ she scrubs a hand over her face. even if it didn't fuck her up as bad as she thought it's still—not comfortable, to relive. ]
Funny that you should be around for this one.
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[ sigh, ]
You know, maybe if I'd not tried so hard we wouldn't have gotten picked, and—
...well, I don't know. Probably still would have died.
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[hold up two fingers in a "pinching the air" motion]
Just a little.
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...I don't think I ever asked how you died, either.
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I'm not sure why I never asked. Maybe because that time—was easier avoided.
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1/2
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Though I guess we've both fucked up on that score.
[what with Rain running away with her girlfriend and Crow murdering his dad and such]
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And here I thought you were always better at it than I was—
I suppose neither of us ever claimed to be good at anything, though.
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[he leans back on his hands, looking up at the sky, legs kicking idly where they hang off the edge of the roof]
I'm good now. I'm good at this, at being what I am.
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[ she makes a quiet huff. ]
...this is probably a strange question, but—if you don't mind humoring me. Are you happy?
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Yeah, that is pretty fucking strange. You know me. I'm fine, Rain. I always am.
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I think a lot of people would think that was a thing I lost, when I accepted the Neverborn, but I don't think it was a thing I ever learned in the first place. But, ah...
...I don't feel like I'm suffocating anymore. Maybe that's it.
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Never saw much of a difference myself. That sounds nice, though.
[and he seems... mostly? sincere about that]
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I know it's probably not going to stay easy, but—it finally feels like I'm doing something right, is all.
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...kind of missed this, in a way.
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