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[softlyfalling]

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[carrionmywaywardsun]

[Crow watches from a nearby roof -- he was out exploring the city when he caught the sound of his own voice and hopped over to what was up.

--oh, the Raksha. Telling the Walker the news about Rain skipping town with an old friend had not been fun, even if the Walker had probably already known.

the next one is...weird, for him to watch. it's just weird, watching Kestrel die; it's not really satisfying, the way watching Rain eat shit would be, and it's not really sad, because obviously Kestrel didn't really die and his connection to those old memories is muffled at the best of times. it's just. weird.]

Man, you never did tell me how you fucking died. You got the personal touch, huh?

[softlyfalling]

...apparently.

[ she scrubs a hand over her face. even if it didn't fuck her up as bad as she thought it's still—not comfortable, to relive. ]

Funny that you should be around for this one.

[carrionmywaywardsun]

Yeah, I bet the gods are just laughing it up somewhere.

[softlyfalling]

Well, if they pay much attention.

[ sigh, ]

You know, maybe if I'd not tried so hard we wouldn't have gotten picked, and—

...well, I don't know. Probably still would have died.

[carrionmywaywardsun]

Well, you might've lasted a little longer.

[hold up two fingers in a "pinching the air" motion]

Just a little.

[softlyfalling]

Yeah. Maybe so.

...I don't think I ever asked how you died, either.

[carrionmywaywardsun]

Didn't think you cared all that much.

[softlyfalling]

You've known me long enough that you know that I always care too much, right?

I'm not sure why I never asked. Maybe because that time—was easier avoided.

[carrionmywaywardsun]

No point holding on to that shit, right? 'S not like I ever asked, either.

[softlyfalling]

I guess. Well—we were supposed to leave those kinds of things behind, weren't we?

1/2

[carrionmywaywardsun]

Are supposed to.

[carrionmywaywardsun]

[a beat, and then his expression lightens]

Though I guess we've both fucked up on that score.

[what with Rain running away with her girlfriend and Crow murdering his dad and such]

[softlyfalling]

[ she—surprisingly, gives a short brief bark of a laugh. ]

And here I thought you were always better at it than I was—

I suppose neither of us ever claimed to be good at anything, though.

[carrionmywaywardsun]

Not back then, anyway.

[he leans back on his hands, looking up at the sky, legs kicking idly where they hang off the edge of the roof]

I'm good now. I'm good at this, at being what I am.

[softlyfalling]

Yeah?

[ she makes a quiet huff. ]

...this is probably a strange question, but—if you don't mind humoring me. Are you happy?

[carrionmywaywardsun]

[looking back down at her now]

Yeah, that is pretty fucking strange. You know me. I'm fine, Rain. I always am.

[softlyfalling]

Maybe I've just been thinking a bit lately about what—well, about what "fine" and "happy" are actually supposed to be. People asked me about that kind of thing a lot, here, and I didn't have a real answer.

[carrionmywaywardsun]

Wow. Sounds like a fucking pain. What's the fucking difference?

[softlyfalling]

Right? Or—well, I still only feel like there's a difference to me sometimes.

I think a lot of people would think that was a thing I lost, when I accepted the Neverborn, but I don't think it was a thing I ever learned in the first place. But, ah...

...I don't feel like I'm suffocating anymore. Maybe that's it.

[carrionmywaywardsun]

[shrugs]

Never saw much of a difference myself. That sounds nice, though.

[and he seems... mostly? sincere about that]

[softlyfalling]

...it really is.

I know it's probably not going to stay easy, but—it finally feels like I'm doing something right, is all.

[carrionmywaywardsun]

Well, you're a lot more interesting this way, so I guess you must be doing something right.

[softlyfalling]

...see, if you call me interesting, I get a little worried.

[carrionmywaywardsun]

That sounds like a "you" problem.

[softlyfalling]

Well, I've got a lot of problems, so that tracks.

...kind of missed this, in a way.