softlyfalling | inbox;

I know, I mean—

I just... don't know how to make it better. I want to, but... just because we've been through similar things doesn't mean you have to do things like me, or that you're moving at the wrong pace.

Honestly, for the first month or so I was just trying to follow Cardinal's lead and they they shouted at me to not do that... so.

Heh. No, I don't really want to follow anybody, despite what I said. I just get frustrated. For not knowing the way to... to just live, I suppose.

Sometimes it's easier. A lot easier. But for a while, it hasn't been.

...sorry. I guess I... knew some of it, but I guess I didn't realize the extent of it?

I don't... want to be someone you resent.

I don't. Not really. I mean, I can't control things that just surface into my mind, and just... burying them will make them come back, so, I had to tell you that, even if it was hard to say.

But it's not your fault. Maybe it isn't even mine. Maybe it's beyond fault.

I mean maybe it's not really a matter of fault, but—

I just don't know what to do.

...Me neither. Please don't... think that I hate you or anything. Even a little bit.

I know you don't—really. I promise.

Good.

...just, you know.

I don't think you're so badly-off as you think you are, for whatever the person you want to be is.

I know that too. I know, the things that I feel, sometimes aren't quite what's rational, what's entirely true.

But... I have a lot. And I've done a lot. And not everybody can lay claim to being a talented flutist, cook, gardener, and a sorceress of earth-shaking power. And well-read. Somebody who loves and is loved and will seize the world by it's collar and drag it screaming if I have to. So. I feel and know those things as well.

Exactly, so—maybe... try and focus on that.

Mm. I will I just... thought that I needed to tell you that.

[snuggling against closer.]

Maybe I'm doing pretty good if I'm worried about things like jealousy after an attack by hellish monsters.

[ she pets her hair a little, though she continues to look thoughtful. ]

I'm glad you weren't hurt too badly...

I got out pretty lucky.

Honestly, I did, too... even though there was one point where I thought I was probably a goner.

[ it's barely noticeable, but the veins on her arm stand out a little more, where Hlasoh touches. ]

Got covered in that horrible black ooze, practically—it's a miracle there were no adverse effects.

[tensing a little at hearing about the danger Shrike was in, holding her tighter.]

Ah, Gods...

This is why, I want to continue training with you. Why I have to. If I can't use sorcery, I need to be able to fight like this.

Um—really, I mean, all's well in the end, so... I wasn't alone, anyway, and you were there when all was said and done.

But the stronger I am, the more I can do to stop people from getting hurt. Which includes you.

Oh, I...

...that's really kind of you. Even though as you are now—I think you have plenty of good strengths.

But... there are some things that will need, ah, the aptitude for violence, and physical prowess, to protect people, so.

inbox;

Re: 269, early afternoon

Re: 269, early afternoon

Re: 269, early afternoon

Re: 269, early afternoon

Re: 269, early afternoon

Re: 269, early afternoon

Re: 269, early afternoon

Re: 269, early afternoon

Re: 269, early afternoon

Re: 269, early afternoon

Re: 269, early afternoon

Re: 269, early afternoon

Re: 269, early afternoon

Re: 269, early afternoon

Re: 269, early afternoon

Re: 269, early afternoon

Re: 269, early afternoon

Re: 269, early afternoon

Re: 269, early afternoon

Re: 269, early afternoon